Priceless! At least he stubbed it out instead of starting an argument or (heaven forbid) a fight with you.

Ha, one wonders whether a TV show called “Ajeoshis Behaving Badly” would fly here. Probably not, since people are used to seeing it all the time, but maybe with funny commentary and captions and so on, and audience reactions by a younger crew of Koreans who’ve “got it” enough to explain how uncool it all is in a way that amuses the audience, such a show might work for a season.

I realized that no one else was going to say anything, so I went over to him and told him he couldn’t smoke there. He looked around and told me he didn’t see any “no smoking” signs. There indeed had been no smoking signs all over the place, but I just patiently said, “This is an airport. You can’t smoke in airports.” He didn’t show any inclination to put out his cigarette. So I just stood there and stared at him until he finally, and angrily, stubbed it out.

BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION

[0001] This invention is a system that teleports a human being through hyperspace from one location to another using a pulsed gravitational wave traveling through hyperspace.

BACKGROUND OF THE INVENTION

[0002] The basis for this invention is an event, referring to FIG. 1, occurring on May 2, 2004, in which the inventor (”he”) personally experienced a full-body teleportation while walking to the bus stop (A) along a road (B) that runs perpendicular to the nearby commercial airport runways where planes are landing. There is a wide iron grating (D) for water drainage that crosses the road at the center of the bus stop. The grating width is such that one has to make a concerted effort to jump across it in order to get from one side to the other. Approximately 50 meters from the iron grating, he (E) felt a vertical wave (F), similar to a flag waving in the breeze, traveling down the street toward the bus stop. The wave velocity was about 1 meter per second, which was slightly faster than his walking speed. In the next instance, he (G) found himself down the street near the corner of the next block. Realizing that he had passed the bus stop, he turned around to see the iron grating approximately 50 meters up the street in back of him. Because there was no recollection of having jumped across the iron grating nor of having passed the bus stop’s yellow marker line, he realized that he had been teleported a distance of 100 meters while moving along with the traveling wave. It was obvious that the wave was pulsed because the front edge overtook the inventor, moved with him momentarily, and then the back edge of wave left him as it moved on down the street. While contemplating this sequence of events, he then looked up and saw in a span of a few seconds a twin-turboprop airplane (C) in the distance crossing above the road while making a shallow descent in order to land at the airport.

[0003] It took a number of days in order to understand this sequence of events…

Makes one wonder at the Lem-ish possibilities for avant garde fiction. Patent applications by, er, “visionaries.” Maybe more Nabokov than Lem, though…