Site icon

Fans Don’t Kill People

Except in Korea. Heh.

And no, fans don’t kill people. They may make a room cold, or somehow set up conditions which bring on heart attacks or strokes or other things, but there’s no way in hell that fans kill people, any more than sex kills old men because it excites them enough to give them a heart attack. We don’t call that “Sex Death”, do we? Ah, well, maybe in Korean it is called Sex Death, I don’t know. In which case, if the cause of death is ascribed to the catalyst of the physical crisis—the stroke, heart attack, blown-out aneurism, or whatever.

Still, if that’s the case, I’d like to see even one Death Certificate that reads, Cause of Death: Fan Death. And another that reads, “Sex Death” or “Soju Death” for the guy whose liver cirrosis causes his death, or “Cigarette death” for the lung cancer victim, or… well, you get the idea. I am pretty sure nothing of the sort will ever be produced, though; or, at least I hope no doctor would ever write that on a Death Certificate. Anyway, the term is unknown outside of Korea, so as far as I can tell, it’s simply a local urban legend spurred on by reporters with the result that it’s so universal it’s almost everywhere accepted as the truth.

Exit mobile version