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Splice — another science-illiterate movie.

If you are worried about spoilers? You need to read this post, so that you don’t spoil your bloody afternoon, the way I did by paying money to watch this crap.

Wow, and I thought genetics was a branch of science and industry where people were researching how genetics works, how to design medicines and other technologies based on those discoveries, and hopefully figure out how to regrow organs or limbs, fight aging, combat genetically-heritable illness, and that kind of thing. I mean, yeah, there’s also all kinds of stuff I don’t like in the biotech industry; most people I know, once they look at some of the things Monsanto has done, for example, have issues. But…

… I had no idea that biotech was really all about scientists with no moral compass working out their (abusive) family-of-origin issues and couple issues, designing magical superfastgrow (a few weeks to adulthood!) humanoid mutant freakazoids, boinking those freakazoids — and hey, why not make that freakazoid sex-changer, so that after it seduces the male lead, it can go and rape the female lead? And hey — incest too,  since the mutant freakazoid is, genetically, partly a clone of the female lead? And what do you end up with? Hey… what was that bat-kind thing in the National Enquirer? Yeah, let’s fairy up the wings and give it a tail with a stinger that regenerates overnight…

Isn’t science fun?!?!

Sometimes I think Hollywood’s being funded by some kind of secret, shithead organization that just wants everyone to be exposed to so much moronically stupid science, and such ridiculous depictions of scientists and the scientific establishment, that people will just give up on the whole enterprise and go back to living with mud and pig shit on their faces and paying 10% of their crops to the clerics and kings and living in fear annd dying at age 35. I really, really do wonder sometimes.

Oh, but wait, it’s not Hollywood: it’s a Canadian film. Yep… Telefilm Canada funded this shit. Wow, that’s two reasons of late to be ashamed of Canada.

Anyway, if you want your intelligence insulted? Watch this film. Otherwise? Check out one of the many books that asks interesting questions about genetics, biotech, our nature, and our future:

… and I’m sure, many more novels, each of which would be a better use of your time than this film.

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