How To Raise An Evil Psycho Kid Who Won’t Shut Up All The Way To Delhi

This is a random scattering of observations, not an exhaustive recipie:

  1. Force-feed him weird smelly red paste with rice. If he makes faces at the gross stuff, force-feed him all the more quickly.
  2. Act like nothing’s wrong when, while sitting not a foot from his parents’ faces, screaming out Mummy!!! Daddy!!! at the top of his lungs.
  3. When you feed him water, make sure to jam the bottle into his mouth qucikly, before he’s had a chance to breathe following his last gulp. Do this at least fifteen times in a row.
  4. Reserve the right to smack him until he does something really distracting to everyone in the train car, namely, until he touches daddy’s glass of chai.
  5. Take him to the potty for help… at age ten. (Or is that not weird?)/li>

I finally did make friends with the kid, and we exchanged biscuits, which was quite an experience. The one he gave me was a mutant oreo-styled thing, with green paste-cream in the middle. The green stuff tasted like something of a cross between some greenish cleaning fluid, and mint mouthwash. But I ate it politely, anyway.

Got to Ritu and John’s house by 11:00-ish, and was still quite ill then… reamined so until after noon today, and I’d say I’m not so much “better” now as much as it’s just a case of “things being under control”. Ritu and I spent a lot of the day talking about some of her writing, and I discovered that packing is gonna be hellish for me.

Tomorrow we’ll go to the book fair and I’ll probably alos dash off for a bit to buy my tanpura. Then a few errands on Tuesday morning, and I’ll need to be at the airport by mid-afternoon. I’ll be in Korea in a couple of nights, and it doesn’t quite feel real yet. It’ll be busy couple of days, I think, so for now I’ll just apologize in advance if I don’t get a chance to call or email. I will catch up once in Korea as long as I am indeed better from this bout of being sick.

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