I hate these things but I couldn’t resist. Via Verba Vita Est:
1) My uncle: I’ve lost count.
2) Never in my life: will I read all the books I own.
3) When I was five: I was very small for my age. Really.
4) High school was: a nightmarish experience that taught me that while the idea of all people being equal is nice, it’s not really true.
5) I will never forget: the first poem I ever wrote.
6) I once met: Dewey Redman. He sat with me during breaks at a gig he played with Jane Bunnett in Saskatoon. He was really cool and talked with me a lot, especially about his mom.
7) There’s this girl I know who: ought to be a poet, but seems to have halfway given up on it.
8) Once, at a bar: I fell asleep. For three hours.
9) By noon I’m usually: awake.
10) Last night: I wasn’t awake.
11) If I only had: paid off my student loans more consistently, I’d be free free free!
12) Next time I go to church, I: will not bring a watergun.
13) Terri Schiavo: ought to tell you something about the Republican party.
14) What worries me most: are the little things, and the very big things.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: the old horrid fridge my employer has provided me with, covered in takeout restaurant ad stickers which I tried to cover up with Dali reproductions but they hardly do it for me.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: a new crop of high-rises on the rise, blocking what was once a great view of the mountains.
17) You know I’m lying when I say: “I don’t mean to criticize, but…” Of course I mean to criticize. I just don’t mean to piss you off, hurt you, or otherwise provoke a negative reaction. I’m just cushioning my honesty.
18) What I miss most about the eighties: being a little child.
19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Polonius, wasn’t it? The overbearing fellow with all the advice. Yes, it was him.
20) By this time next year: I hope to have published several things.
21) This time last year: I was hoping to have finished a novel I still haven’t finished writing.
22) I have a hard time understanding: most human beings.
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll: study something more applicable to the main dilemmas of our age, ie. something to do with design, ecology, pollution, or global economics.
24) You know I like you if: I am brutally honest with you.
25) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: whoever had to put up with me most when I was working on whatever project I got the award for.
26) Quine, Kierkegaard, Bentham, Rawls: I dunno about the others but Kierkegaard is straight up wonderful. Even though I disagree with him a lot, I simply love what I’ve read of his work.
28) My ideal breakfast is: a croissant (a real, crusty croissant, not the stuff they have here in Korea), some fresh fruit, some yogurt, orange juice, and hot, fresh coffee.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: hey, there’s a whole album, actually, and it’s called Sing Me A Song Everlasting by the Don Pullen/George Adams Quartet. Though, actually, it’s been rereleased and I’m going to try pick it up sometime. Also, I love, but cannot find anywhere, the Bill Evans album Living in the Crest of a Wave. That’s the saxophonist Bill Evans, not the pianist.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: bringing something to read.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Eh? The Stars of Track and field aaaaaare…
32) Why won’t anyone: give a damn?
33) If you spend the night at my house, don’t: leave fruit peels lying around in inappropriate places. I found a fruit peel on my bed once in Iksan and I went bananas.
34) I’d stop my wedding for: a chance to welcome our New Alien Overlords, if such an invasion happened to occur at the same time as my wedding. It just seems a wise thing to do.
35) The world could do without: the RIAA.
36) My favourite blonde is: a dyed blonde.
37) Paper clips are more useful than: rubber bands.
38) If I do anything well, it’s: editing other peoples’ fiction.
39) One decision that consistently haunts me is: having married once, long ago, and far too young.
40) And by the way: one of the above answers is a lie.
UPDATE: Looking at my server tracking, I discovered that many people doing #26 don’t know who Quine, Kierkegaard, Bentham, Rawls are, nor what they have in common. They’re philosophers, of course, of rather different stripes. You can Google them as you like. I’ve heard mention of Quine, anyone’s who’s read a certain book of Foucault’s cannot forget Bentham’s name, and that leaves only Rawls, who it turns out is someone I’d like to read…