Oh, What Smashingly Fun!

yell! (lets) and smash! potsandstomp!
about &yellmore and afterall its only
nearly midnight whatatime for a party
if youre selfish&stupid & upstairs

Brought to you by the very annoyed ghost of e.e. cummings, who was having such a nice quiet evening with me until just now…

UPDATE a few hours later:

better yet, what’s a party, huh?
if there’s nobody yelling, ? 씨빨놈아!
alone in their mindly world, like the loony
&mannerless 아저씨 goes, do you get me?
what loneliness, everything i but no your,
what driveling cares and uncares and wherefore.

Yes, of all the things I am supposed to have learned in Korea, the “Just shut up and put up with whatever shit other people do, even when it annoys the piss out of you,” isn’t sticking. I’m trying to be patient, but you know, an hour of sustained yelling by more than one idiot, starting after midnight, is enough to make me see red. Do these men upstairs really imagine nobody can hear them, nobody is disturbed by this shit? Or is it that they just lack the imagination to realize there exist people outside their range of vision who might be thus disturbed?

I went to the door to ring the bell and request quiet, but when I got there, I heard some pretty vicious yelling and slurred speech. I think tomorrow I shall visit and express my annoyance since this isn’t the first time, but visiting tonight seemed like a very bad idea… though I was so annoyed I almost reached out and rang that doorbell anyway.

They’re still at it, though. Inconsiderate bastards.

UPDATE 2: I’ve got it! What we need is the equivalent of a dogwhistle for morons. You know, a whistle only morons can hear, and when they act like bastards, we can blow it and hurt their ears? I only wish such a thing were possible. In lieu of that, I’m thinking of it wouldn’ve been wise if, months ago, I could have simply gotten shelving set up so that, when needed, I could blast the people upstairs with John Zorn’s blisteringly noisy Naked City album at full blast for a while. I bet that would have shut them up. Or, hey, why not hypnotize them with some minimalist classics?

4 thoughts on “Oh, What Smashingly Fun!

  1. I’ve fantasized about it, believe me. Hopefully, since I’ll be in some kind of faculty apartment building next time, I won’t need to worry about this kind of thing.

  2. Yes, I like Julia’s idea. Many years ago I lived in a stucco bi-level duplex. My rommate and I were upstairs. One day a bunch of frat-boys moved in downstairs, and I reckon they thought it was their god-given right to party thier asses off at home, right about the clock struck midnight– and their momma’s never trained them to shut, not SLAM, a door. They also didn’t seem to understand, after being asked to shut the fuck up after midnight more than five times, that they should take it elsewhere. One morning they woke me up singing Green Day (mall-punk) at the top of their lungs. Usually, it was the worst of Aerosmith (post 70’s), or goddamn “suck-my-dick-bitch” rap.
    So, one fine Saturday morning, I got up good and early. I made sure their Jeep Cherokees and window-tinted four-by-fours were out there. I threw John Coltrane’s “Ascension”, plus other elephants in heat classics, in the player, turned the speakers toward the floor, cranked the volume, pressed repeat, and spent the day away from home.
    I’m sure I’ve told you about that, Gord, but there it is again.
    Don’t fantasize. Do….

  3. Well, but it seems Wednesday night is their big party/yell/fight night and I shall only be spending one, or perhaps two, more Wednesday nights here. However, I shall remember this technique for next time.

    And yeah, John, you told me that story before, but it was good then and good again.

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