Still More Gobbledygook and Odd Inferences From The Academic Slushpiles

Ah, for my cup runneth over with gobbledygook.

More absurdities from the — ooh, I’ve coined a new term! — the Academic Slush Piles:

  • “Jewish people study economics from childhood, which is why they are all rich.” Uhhhhm. And while “… Jews are like Koreans because they were oppressed by a bigger powerful country, Jewish people think poverty is a fault of the poor, not a misfortune.”
  • Child abuse is appearing in newspapers more than ever, which means it is happening more than ever. Because it’s really not possible that people just worry about it more, or the media is reporting it more, or children or parents are reporting it more, or any other sensible explanation. Really.
  • The Illuminism is the name of that eighteenth-century European philosophical period/movement. Don’t tell me you didn’t get an imagine of Robert Anton Wilson in a powdered wig for a second. I know you did.
  • Jeans go well with the tall womans. And by the way, I know all about what one of my male students is searching for in a woman. Why he and his partner through this would be an appropriate topic for an academic essay, I have no idea, but… they did. So I’m going to make him explain, with references, why jeans go better on taller women.

Oh, for some reason it has never yet ceased to amaze me when a student who needs a translator just to ask me about what she missed last class goes ahead and hands in an essay that has no grammar errors in it. Surely she doesn’t think I’m that stupid, does she? I mean, how stupid can a student be to think she can fool someone by plagiarizing an essay when she can’t even speak very simple, basic English sentences when she needs to?

I’m not at today’s goal of 50% of essays done, but there are two days left in the weekend, and I spent much of today up to my chin in gobbledygook of another kind (speech contest, don’t ask), so I’m calling it a night. More grading on the train tomorrow, but you, my dear readers, will no enjoy the fruits of that labour until sometime next week, as I’ll obviously be traveling and therefore offline for a few days.

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