ganked from badassbroccoli:
o1. my uncle once: rode a motorbike all around rural Quebec.
o2. never in my life: have I been as happy as I am now.
o3. when i was five: I had to wear a patch on my good eye, and banged into everything in my way when I went walking.
o4. high School is: no kind of place to learn anything.
o5. i once met: the Dalai Lama.
o6. there’s this girl i know who: who writes a lot about gay and transgendered people in my writing course, and who has, perhaps for this reason, begun oddly to look ever-so-vaguely masculine to me… but not in an ugly way or anything.
o7. once, at a bar: I participated in arts & crafts night.
o8. last night: I didn’t sleep until 3:40am.
o9. next time i go to church: I will try to grate my teeth less.
1o. when i turn my head left, i see: the “Back in five minutes!” sign taped to the inside of my office door.
11. when i turn my head right: I see stacks of poetry books I won’t be reading for months to come.
12. how many days until my birthday?: 82, apparently.
13. if i was a character written by Shakespeare i’d be: far more loquiacious.
14. by this time next year: I hope to have revised one novel, and drafted another.
15. a better name for me would be: hard to think up.
16. i have a hard time understanding: people who need to have reality dictated to them by people who are so obviously making it up as they go along.
17. if i ever go back to school i’ll: study even harder than I did before. And choose a major like environmental science or something.
18. you know i like you if: I cuss or criticize something in front of you.
19. if i won an award, the people i’d thank would be: somewhat surprised, I think.
2o. take my advice: but always think for yourself, too.
21. my ideal breakfast is: served at about 11:00 am.
22. if you visit my hometown: you’d better bring a parka and something to read.
23. why won’t someone: let me go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks?
24. if you spend the night at my house: then I expect you to pick up the hairs you leave all over the place.
25. i’d stop my wedding if: my bride showed up as a flesh-eating zombie.
26. the world could do without: flesh-eating zombies.
27. i’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of this ugly thing that some nice listmate linked to recently.
28. my favorite blonde is: a blond beer.
29. paper clips are more useful than: machetes.
3o. if i do anything well, it is: somewhat of a surprise to me.
31. and by the way: … wait… it’ll come to me. Damn. Nope. Forget it.
32. the last time i was high: was when I flew from Australia to Korea. Planes go very high.