Don’t worry, I won’t give you the gory details, but:
WHAT’S NOT FUN ABOUT A SIGMOID ENDOSCOPY…
- Er, well, there’s the obvious. Like, those alien abduction reportees? They picked a doozy of a procedure for their imaginary aliens to perform on them. (1)
- Various other minor side effects afterward, like, er, well, scentless flatulence (2) and mild discomfort from being pumped full of air.
WHAT CAN BE FUN ABOUT A SIGMOID ENDOSCOPY…
- Cheap, legal narcotics. I was flyin’, folks. Well, until the procedure began. Then I was just dizzy, but, hey, whatever. It didn’t hurt, at least.
- Seeing your insides. Maybe it’s weird, but that’s kinda cool. Well, until you run across a stray bit of food in there. Then it’s just weird.
- Having another patient, a young woman in her 20s, who is also flyin’ on the same narcotics, plonk herself beside you and start up a conversation, rather quickly working her way from “I’m scared,” to “Are you married? Not yet? I’m not married too! Wow!” She wasn’t quite hitting on me, but it had that vibe. Which would be flattering except we were both waiting for a sigmoid endoscopy, which makes it just kinda weird. But, flattering, I guess.
By the way, for those keeping score, the result is, “Nothing wrong, no problem.” Which means I’ve been rushing to the bathroom intermittently this month for some other reason. I have some meds, and an appointment this Saturday, to see what’s up.
(1) Which reminds me: why do none of these people ever get rushed to the ER due to some kind of tear or other side effect? You’d expect it of 0.1-1% of abductees, but the only thing they ever report is being freaked out.
(2) It probably smells like lubricant, actually. But I didn’t bother to check.
Drugs? They gave you drugs for a sigmoidoscopy?
When I had one, I had no drugs, or forewarning for that matter. Just “I’d better take a look. Take off your pants and lie down on your side, please.”
It didn’t hurt at all. It just felt like a long, cold finger going where no finger should ever go.
Send me an e-mail about your symptoms if you want. Unfortunately I’m now a self-taught expert in butt lore.
Jack,
Hahaha, “butt lore.” I’m pretty sure it’s just some long-lasting food poisoning thing, to be frank. At worst, it’s some parasite they’ll figure out about on the weekend. For now, I’m on something to stem the tide till Saturday, but if this goes on longer, I may well email you with some symptoms.
Yeah, they said it would hurt if they didn’t give me narcotics. I was like, “Narcotics? I’m cool with that.” It was administered via intravenous, and there was an extra shot of something a few minutes before the procedure. I imagine it served as much as a relaxant as it did a painkiller, actually.
I think, to be honest, I got more distress from the gas they pumped into me than the long cold finger, actually.
But, wait, no warning? They didn’t enema you? How could they see anything past all the bits of digested food and stuff? Wait, do I wanna know?
I think providing drugs for a sigmoidoscopy is generally unusual in North America. Heck, many hospitals don’t use anaesthetic for colonoscopies — just a sedative. And, yeah, that hurts.
As for your last question … you *might* want to know, but your blog’s readers probably do’t.
Jack,
Hmm. Well, everyone in the place I was at was getting something — most people an intravenous drip, plus a shot at the moment of truth, but a few people were given something to drink beforehand. Maybe they were getting ‘scopes in the mouth.
By the way, I though sigmoidoscopy and colonoscopies were the same thing. Hmm. I am guessing the girl who went after me, the one who was fishing to see if I was single, must have had the latter, as it apparently was quite painful from the sounds she made. (It was a single big room partitioned with little curtains, and they were running a few examinations at the same time. Some lady a few cots over was occasionally whimpering and some older guy was being told his results, but that was all I heard.)
Heh, well, maybe I’ll ask you those last questions on Facebook, then. :)