I’m currently trawling through my old drafts of poetry for a project I won’t talk about for now, but one thing I’ll say is that the project doesn’t involve much doggerel. But I figure, since it’ll never see the light of day anywhere else, I might as well post this thing here.

Warning: for those who’ve spent too much time at poetry readings, this may provoke flashbacks, either of crass poetry or of poets trying to read stuff that isn’t crass to audiences used to it. (I’ll admit, when I was young I was perhaps as crass a poetry listener as anyone. Well, maybe not anyone, but…)

There may be more in weeks to come. But for now, just one bit of doggerel.

Do not read Gentle Stuff When First in Line
(for Robyn Sarah)
by Gord Sellar

Do not read gentle stuff when first in line
Such poems will make everybody yawn;
Rage, sex, or theft would be just fine.

Your poetry is delicate like wine;
But learn, when you look up and we’re all gone:
Do not read gentle stuff when first in line.

As poets busily their topics mine
Like quarries, searching for what they may spawn —
Rage, sex, or theft would be just fine

But please, no yawning letdowns; we’re no swine,
Yet, please, titillate us, turn us on:
Do not read gentle stuff when first in line!

Inspire, yes, or tease or torment, whine
Even and we enjoy — write on a scone!
Or rage, sex, or theft would be just fine —

So cook some nasty shit up. Show your wit!
Write a poem about nudity on one’s lawn!
Just don’t read gentle stuff when first in line:
Rage, sex, or theft would be just fine.