(with apologies to Allen Ginsberg)
Facebook I’ve given you all and now I’m nothing.
Facebook two comments on my blog since October 17, 2014.
I can’t stand my own mind.
Facebook when will we end the online war?
Go fuck yourself with your Like and Share
I don’t feel good don’t bother me.
I won’t write my poem till I’m in my right mind.
Facebook when will you be angelic?
When will you take down your ads?
When will you look at your practices through futurity?
When will you be worthy of your billion-plus users?
Facebook why are your comment sections full of rage?
Facebook when will you direct your links to the cosmos?
I’m sick of your insane demands.
When can I go online and find what I need without clickbait and game invites?
Facebook after all it is you and I who are perfect not the worlds of Candy Crush and Minecraft.
Your machinery is too much for me.
You made me want to armchair crusade.
There must be some other way to settle these arguments.
Everyone is posting images on Ello I don’t think they’ll come back it’s sinister.
Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?
I’m trying to come to the point.
I refuse to give up my account.
Facebook stop gaming my moods I know what you’re doing.
Facebook the drones are cruising already.
I haven’t seen a newspaper in months, everyday somebody gets pilloried on your site.
Facebook I feel sentimental about my TRS-80.
Facebook I used to be a Usenet reader when I as an undergrad, and I’m only a little sorry.
I read dead-tree books every chance I get.
I sit in my house for hours on end and scroll through your Throwback Thursdays.
When I go outside my house, it’s to get away from you.
My mind is made up there’s going to be trouble.
You should have seen me deleting my Yahoo account.
Bill Joy thinks I’m perfectly right.
I won’t Share that post that made my blood boil.
I have visions of progress and utopian changes.
Facebook I still haven’t told you what you did to the blogosphere after we all signed up with you.
I’m addressing you.
Are you going to let our emotional life be run by Likes and Shares?
I’m obsessed by Likes and Shares.
I click both every week.
The buttons stare out at me every time I slink past an browser.
I click them in the coffeeshop down the street from my home.
The Shared posts are always telling me about responsibility. Dawkins is important. Sarkeesian is important. Everybody’s important–especially me.
It occurs to me that I am Facebook.
I am talking to myself again.
Opinion is rising against me.
I haven’t got a food-blogger’s chance.
I’d better consider my digital resources.
My digital resources consist of two trillion scandalrage links an indefatiguable clixploitation mill that goes 1400 posts an hour and millions of dollars worth of people’s personal data.
I say nothing about my iPhone chat app nor the millions of lost souls mired in my sub-par games, minecrafting and candycrushing in the depths of uncounted servers.
I have abolished all evidence of breastfeeding women, the concept of privacy is next to go.
My ambition is to be God despite the fact that I’m a website.
Facebook how can I write a holy litany in your crazy mood?
I will continue like Bill Gates my posts are as individual as his OSes more so they’re all different outrages
Facebook I will sell you outrages $2500 apiece $500 down on your old scandal
Facebook slay #GamerGate
Facebook save the Wikileaks loyalists
Facebook Jian Ghomeshi must stand in the digital pillory forever
Facebook who is Benjanun Sriduangkaew?
Facebook when I was seventeen my uncle showed me his IBM desktop, he bought me floppy disks, a program per floppy, a disk costs a dollar and the shareware was free everybody was excited and impatient about the future it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing dialup was in 1995 my Thinkpad was a miracle, Yahoo Groups saved my life, I once got email from Bruce Sterling. Everybody must have been stoned on Wired.
Facebook you don’t really want this next outcry.
Facebook it’s them bad Twitterers.
Them Twitterers them Twitterers and them Livejournalers. And them Google.
The Google wants to eat us alive. The Google’s power mad. She wants to take our brains from out our crania.
Her wants to grab subscribers. Her needs a ubiquitous network. Her wants our everydata everyalways. Him big website running our inner lives.
That no good. Ugh. Him makes netizens stop clicking Share. Him need hi-profile yoosers.
Hah. Her make us Like and Share sixteen hours a day. Help.
Facebook this is quite serious.
Facebook this is the impression I get from looking at my Friend feed.
Facebook is this correct?
I’d better get right down to the job. It’s true I don’t want to go offline or turn spend my days clicking my mouse till it breaks, I’m stressed-out and misanthropic anyway.
Facebook I’m installing Stayfocusd.