A Conversation I Had In Class Today…

Translated from Korean:

Gord: Why is your homework the same as his?
Student: It’s not.
Gord (from one book): “I live is by red house and one is sister. I live near The World Cup Stadium. My house so is very good.” (from other book) “I live is by red house and two is brother. I live near The World Cup Stadium. My house so is very good.”
Student: It’s different. One sister, two brother. Different.
Gord: Do I look stupid to you?
Student: No.
Gord: It’s the same homework.
Student: We’re neighbours.
Gord: So you did your homework together because you’re neighbours?
Student: No, no. Our homework is the same because we’re writing about the same place.
Gord: And your mistakes are the same?
Student: Yes. Because English is hard.
Gord: Especially if you don’t try.
Student: We’re neighbours…
Gord: … well, neighbours. Yes, you are well-nigh boors. (*)
Student: Well-nigh boors? No, neighbours.
Gord: Yes, you are well-nigh boars. Only pigs would show me this homework.
Student: Neighbours.
Gord: Yes, nigh-boars.
(Other students are cackling by this point.)
Student: Okay, but we didn’t cheat.
Gord: Fuuuuuug. You did your homework together, didn’t you?
Student: Yes.
Gord: That’s minus one percent each for you. Everybody, unless you are a boar, you will do your homework. If you want to learn, you must try. If you won’t try, you should get the #&[email protected]! out of here right now. Got it?
Students, in unison, serious looks and only a little laughter: Yes.

(*) The actual pun was far more elegant. The Korean word for “neighbour” (yeopjari)sounds enough like the word yeobgi which apparently means curious, bizarre, weird, freaky… which was, to my students, a very amusing pun, but also one that conveyed my annoyance at being lied to you in such a stupid and bald-faced way. The student said, “I am his neighbour” and I said, “You are a freak? Yes, you’re a freak!”

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