This week’s Friday Five is from Adam, a man whom I believe knows his way around the cookie jar:
You’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Busted. Stone-cold caught and about to get the smackdown you deserve. What 5 things would you say to dodge the bullet?
- Aw, baby, I was gonna surprise you. Get out of here till I finish making the coffee to go with this, and go back to studying. I’ll bring it to you when it’s ready, okay honey?
- Er, I thought there was money in here. Did you spend it?
- Oh, I’m making a grocery list and checking if we need more cookies. Where’s the list? It’s in my head, sweetie. Hey! Really! Quit looking at me that way…
- It’s a cookie. It’s not like it’s heroin, you know… Now, do you want one or not?
- Honey, I know, I have a problem. A serious problem. I need you to help me. I know it’s not your fault, not your problem, but I’m asking you, imploring you: could you please stop buying cookies? I have a problem you see, and I just can’t help myself. It’s a disease. It’s not my fault. Wait… you’re serious? You’re gonna stop buying cookies? Uh… okay. [Begins thinking of places to stash bags of cookies.]