Denial

This week’s Friday Five question comes from the twisted Freudian mind of Rob, from about pip, who writes:

name five things you’re in denial about…go on, double dare you.

That’s a pretty challenging question, given the fact that

  1. most people don’t like to admit they’re in denial about anything, and
  2. the things we tend to be in denial about are things we tend to want to hide from, meaning they’re things we want to hide from others, which makes it hard to write about them in a public place like a blog, however rarely-visited it is.

Still, I’ll give it a shot:

  • Internet addiction. Yeah, sure I’m not an addict. That’s why I go into withdrawal if I don’t check my email for three days. That’s why I know where PC cafes can be found in any city I’ve visited since 1998. That’s why I have a massive website full of internet posts, and two computers.
  • My health. Not that it’s better than I think, but that it might be worse than I imagine. I spent 4 months off-and-on sick, and during that time I often was so wiped out by tonsilitis or infections around my wisdom tooth that I had to give up things like cycling and swimming. Now I’ve gained some weight back, my asthma is worse again, and my stress levels are higher, meaning other conditions seem to be worsening. I need this tooth out, which I’ll get done sometime after camp. And then I need to get back into exercising, which is going to take a long time.
  • How long it will wake to get back into (better) shape. It won’t be as long as last time, but it’s not gonna be as short a period of exercise hell as I like to imagine. But it’s good that I’m in denial about that, or I’d never start.
  • Perhaps, my finances. My calculations may not be correct. It may not be as possible to kill off those old debts in the time-frame I’m hoping for. And damn, the tax returns I didn’t file back in Canada… and where does the extra cash go at the end of the month? I wonder sometimes…
  • How much Lime matters to me. I don’t like to show others this, especially Western male friends, since they often tend to by cynical about relationships and discourage one from caring too much, especially after a history of bad luick, but Lime matters a lot to me. She’s a big part of my life now, and probably matters more to me than I really understand right now.

Well, there. That actually wasn’t half as bad as I imagined. If you want to see what other Friday Fivers don’t want to admit, you know where to look.

4 thoughts on “Denial

  1. I’ll join you on this quest.
    internet addiction: Yes me too. I cannot go more than 5 or 6 hours without checking my email, my 4 different web sites, blogs, or numerous forums where I hang-out.

    Computer addiction: When I’m not surfing, I’m upgrading my computer, buying a 2nd monitor and other geekware. I also spend a fair amount of time learning photoshop, designing boardgames on my computer, and watching downloaded tv shows (much easier with 2 monitors as I can truely multitask)

    I’m fat (well sort of): I’ve got a bit of a spare tire, and I hate exercise, but love cookies so I really need to turn that around. But I don’t want to…. I’m in trouble…

    I’m lazy: I don’t put in the amount of time I should to learning Korean. I make grand plans for these sort of things, but rarely follow through to the extent I intended…

    I’m not sure: but there must be something else I’m in denial about but so deep in denial I can’t even think about it…

  2. there you go gord – not as painful as you might think ;-)
    i suppose i’ll have to put up this week (shamefully missed more than a couple of months worth of f5s i think) seeing as i’m challenging everyone. i may even find myself by a computer on a friday for once.

  3. I’ll join you on that finances thing… It seemed like the debts would be long gone in a year or two as a single guy living in paid housing, etc… Not so~ ㅠㅠ

    More power to you with Lime~!! I was actually called a girl by a Korean girl last night, so I guess I can’t speak as a typical “Western male”, but really caring for someone (regardless of their returning affection) is one of the biggest things in the world that makes people better than they are. Hope she’s making you better than you are too~!! ^^

    By the way – just curiously browsing, I discovered that you’ve got a link to my site in your blogroll. Just to let you know – that site is dead~ The new site is called “locomote”, at http://www.locomote.org. Stop by when you get a chance~

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