Ah, for my cup runneth over with gobbledygook. More absurdities from the — ooh, I’ve coined a new term! — the Academic Slush Piles: “Jewish people study economics from childhood, which is why they are all rich.” Uhhhhm. And while “… Jews are like Koreans because they were oppressed by a bigger powerful country, Jewish people think poverty is a fault of the poor, not a misfortune.” Child abuse is appearing in newspapers more than ever, which means it is happening more than ever. Because it’s really not possible that people just worry about it more, or the media is …

Actually, just a question: Why is it that it’s always the nitwits writing the knee-jerk anti-Japanese generalization-crammed those-islands-are-ours-and-[all-of]-the-Japanese-are-would-be-evil-oceanic-rock-thieves-type essays that think they can get away with plagiarism and cheating? Evidence of not thinking in one area relating to not thinking in another, perhaps? Ah well. Not many more rants left… according to the progress meter, I’m 24% done as of today. By this time tomorrow night, I’m hoping for 50% or more.

Today, a non-rant about students who’ve brightened up my week. It’s rare in my work these days that students routinely visit me in my office. Most of my office hours are spent either in class preparation, grading, or revising fiction and checking up fiction markets for the purposes of submitting my own stories to them. But there are a couple of students who’ve taken advantage of that time to come to my office, either for help with their schoolwork, or else just to chat. This is nice, I like it: it breaks up the monotony of the office hours. One …

“I was so drunk on Sunday night, because my girlfriend’s father was suddenly in town and he made me go drinking with him, and we drank soooo much, so I know my essay is one day late, and I’m sorry. I was hung-over.” That’s the more amusing spoken version of what was scrawled on an envelope bearing one essay that had been slipped under my door sometime early on Tuesday morning. I don’t even know whether it’s true, but it amused me enough to let the lateness slide. I mean, imagine being forced by your girlfriend’s father to drink until …

Been grading. More amusing bitlets: Tom Cruise isn’t his name. His real name is Thomas Cruise. Universities are obviously obligated to provide convenient services to students, like, say, free bus service to the subways. Because 2km is too far to walk, and the equivalent of 25 cents per ride is ridiculously overpriced, whereas 10 cents would be reasonable. I’m not sure why the student thinks so. (And I should note, I often use this bus. But I happen to think it’s an inexpensive and handy service, actually.) What’s M.C. an abbreviation for? That’s right, Menstruation. (Apparently, this is a Chinese-English …

In the course of grading my midterms for Popular Culture in English Speaking Countries, I’ve learned the following: Bombay can also be spelled Bumbay or Bombai. “Elbiss Presly” (Preslley, Plesly, etc) was the King of Rock’n’Roll, and he died of glycosuria (and/or stress, and/or suicide) Indians love song and dance more than any other people, which is why song-and-dance numbers are so prevalent in Indian films one prevalent stereotype of African American men widely expressed in blackface minstrelsy is that they’re all bisexual The only Beatle who has not been assassinated is Paul McCartney. The Indian festival Teej is celebrated …